Sophomore year Semester 1

 After a warm relaxing summer, it was time to get back to school and start my second year of college. I was excited about what the semester had to offer but I was also nervous about the unknown. Towards the end of summer, I started to think deeply about my major. I started to think about the why, the what and the how. I was confident I wanted to continue with the economics major but I wasn't sure what my second major would be since I dropped political science. I love politics and political science just seemed like the right major for me to take to set me up for the career I envision for myself but for some reason, I felt uneasy about it. I kept feeling a little nudge in me saying that maybe right now I should major in something else and then circle back to political science. So I decided to talk about it with several people including my advisor, professors, classmates, and friends. After having one conversation, I would feel like dropping it was the best choice, then  I had another conversation with a different person and would feel convinced to continue with it. I was confused, terrified even. But then I continued having the conversation with an open mind and I prayed about it. Then dropping it started to feel like the next best decision. With uncertainty and fear of making the wrong decision, I dropped it and started thinking about what my next major would be. I looked at the degree sheets every day. I checked in with my goals, and I contacted people with the hope that I would come to a decision on my next major but it was still unclear. I mean I thought of Data science, and computer science, I even looked at some engineering degrees but nothing felt right for me. Then I reconsidered computer science and reached out to the department to see if it was feasible since I was already going into the second year. After meetings and several emails, I had to accept that it would be close to impossible to squeeze all the classes to graduate on time with the CS degree and my scholarship would not accord me the fortune of an extension. I had to let go. Then I finally landed in management information systems. It looked like a great trade-off as it combines computer science and business. I spoke to the department, and looked at the degree sheets a couple of times, the courses looked interesting and the field looks promising so I added it as a second major to ECON.

I could finally breathe and enroll in my fall classes literally almost on the last day of the summer. 

Now, this meant that I was switching from the college of arts and science to the business school. The business degree has 6 required business courses and I had only taken 2. So I had to play catch up and that meant taking 17 credit hours of business classes. I took; Fundamental financial accounting, business statistics, Intermediate macroeconomics, computer-based information systems, computing tools, and dynamic earth (a general requirement with lab).  Generally, my classes were fun, and I enjoyed all my business courses except the scheduling was tough. Due to my late enrollment, the only slots available for 3 of my classes were at night while 3 were in the morning. This made my days really long and they felt like I was dragging through them. On some days I could barely open my eyes and on some, I could barely focus. It was tough needless to say. But I made friends in my classes and interacted more with my professors which was a big step from my first year. And in MIS particularly, I had a study buddy. He really helped me with my assignments and I am super grateful. Thank you so much, Frank. And thank you so Dieko, Luthle, and Mora for being great statistics classmates. I barely understood the lectures but being with you guys made it fun and gave me a reason to come to class. 

With each day came a new challenge and I took it on, surviving until the end.

Alongside my Technician job, I became a tutor for the transformative tutoring research program. I was tutoring math. It was a great experience. On some days it felt more challenging than on others and I didn't realize how big of a commitment it was. What I didn't factor in was the emotional weight it carried, my tutees were amazing but they had their days just like I do where they would not be in the mood for learning or when they didn't get the material as it got more challenging with the days. So there were days I was emotionally drained and I just felt like I couldn't do it anymore. But there were days when my tutees would say, “you are a great tutor”, “I really look forward to this class”, “am not gonna lie, you are really making my day,” and “you are very patient Ms. Cararise”. The Ms. Cararise part made me realize that I am old now lol. Seriously though those words warmed my heart and gave me so much gratitude for the opportunity to tutor math and to impact their lives in the small way that I could. So I was not going to let them down in the middle of the semester by quitting. I persevered through and embraced the low and the high days. We said our goodbyes on the last day and I said goodbye to the program. It wasn't an easy decision but it had to be made. 

I continued to serve as Model African Union President. It was tough but we ended on a great note. My co-founding member and vice President both graduated. The treasurer resigned and this meant that the weight of the organization was on my shoulders. Now, if this organization was much older, maybe it was have been better but it wasn't. This was only our second semester. So I felt the weight. There was no foundation, no blueprint and I just didn't know where to go for help. Getting members to join was hard, one time I was the only person who attended the meeting. I almost gave up, I thought what's the point anyway. This school doesn't need a model African union. But then the passion that I have for Africa kept me going and I felt the need to continue pushing. Now this African Queen named Diane really came through and carried this organization. She met up with me and somehow she had this zeal, this excitement, and this hope that we could still do something for the organization. She took over social media, she invited people, she talked about future meeting ideas. I am extremely grateful to you Diane. Thank you for not giving up on the organization, thank you for pouring into it. I

I then reached out to Amariah, a good friend, and a passionate African as well, I asked her if she could take on the role of general secretary and after careful consideration, she took it on gracefully. She has since been hosting our meetings and has really done a tremendous job. Thank you so much, Amariah for what you keep doing. I am grateful for you. 

I joined the worship team at my church. This really got me hyped. I have only sung once so far and I really loved it. Being on stage that day reminded me of how good the Lord has been to me. He has really been with me every single day. Carrying me day by day and reminding me that he loves me. Every single part of my story he wrote and he is here with me. I am never alone. And if he dresses the lilies with beauty and splendor, how much more will he clothe me. How much more does he love me. This moment brought with it the memory of my mom in the choir and me as a little girl looking at her singing. She is my biggest role model and her voice is the sweetest I have ever heard.

I am a JCPenney candidate associate. What an honor. I am glad to be part of this renowned leadership program at OU. In my short time with JCPLP, I have learned so much, I have been inspired and grateful and I have grown as a professional. I am looking forward to what's in store.

With this, I thank God for the grace and strength to finish off another semester. It is evidence of his goodness and Mercy and the power of the blood. 

If it's your first time here welcome to Space of thoughts, I hope we learn from each other and grow together. For those who have been here before, it's such a pleasure to have you again.

Please do reach out to me in the comments or write to me directly using the email lcararise@gmail.com